Christian Relationship Help: How to Apply Detachment With Love to Your Difficult Relationships
This Christian relationship help explains how you can apply detachment with love to your difficult relationships. Regardless of what the other person does, God holds you responsible for your actions. Each of us will only give an accounting of our own words and actions. We are also responsible for how we respond to others regardless of what they do to us. Because of the complex dynamics of difficult relationships, it isn’t always easy to know what the right thing to do is. The principle of detachment with love can give you guidelines for responding to difficult people.
Detachment with love means the following things:
You can be loving and respectful, but let go of the things that are not yours to handle such as the other person’s choice to engage in an addiction, be irresponsible, be self-destructive, or any other personal choice.
You don’t have to get involved in arguments and conversations that you don’t want to have. You can getbusy doing something else, remove yourself from the situation, or make a short comment that ends the conversation. You don’t have to remove yourself or end the conversation with anger; it simply means graciously making another choice.
You love yourself and the other person enough to realize that it isn’t in your best interest or the other person’s best interest for you to control, manipulate, push, or fix. Instead, you let each person take care of themselves.
You don’t need to point out anyone else’s wrongs, unless the behavior is truly putting your life or someone else’s life in jeopardy. If it is a boundary issue for you, you can state your boundary and follow through with consequences. Otherwise, give other people the dignity to deal with their wrongs on their own terms and not take them personally.
You do not worry about what others are thinking about you because it really is none of your business. You need to care more about what you think of yourself and what God thinks of you. So when others react negatively to your choices, actions, and reactions, you can let them think whatever they want.
You don’t need to feel responsible when someone else fails nor do you need to figure out how to fix it.Other people are responsible for their own lives. Succeeding and failing both provide valuable lessons.
Detachment with love will give you the ability to respond to the difficult people in your life the way God does. He lets people make their own choices, holds them responsible for them, allows them to suffer the consequences, and loves them the whole time.