Relationship

What Do Other People Think About You When You Are With Them?

What Do Other People Think About You When You Are With Them?

When you meet someone it is useful for you to know what they think about you. If they are thinking good thoughts they can help you and if not you need to be on your guard. The one thing you can be almost one hundred per cent certain they are not thinking about you is what you think they are thinking about you. Reflect on this and let it sink in. There is no way yet known to human beings to know what another person is thinking.

This may strike you as strange because often you are certain you know what they are thinking. You can see it in the way they stand or the way they look at you or even by the tone of voice. But you can’t you know. What you see is your own internal guess at what they might be thinking. You are projecting on to them something that you are actually thinking yourself. This is normal and your mind makes you think you know what the other person is thinking.

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Try this out next time you are with someone. First of all notice what you think they are thinking about you. Summarise it in your mind and hold it there for reference. Now ask them what they are thinking about and in particular what are they thinking about you at that moment. Compare your summary with what they say. I predict there will be a significant difference.

It will range from them not thinking about you at all at that moment to thinking something very different to what you thought they were thinking about you. It has to be like this. You and the other person are experiencing the world in completely different ways at any moment. You have your view of the world, memories and the inputs you choose to use in that moment and they have theirs. The chances are extremely small that you are predicting someone else’s thoughts at the moment they are having them.

There are two steps to discovering what someone else is thinking about you when you meet them. The first is to suspend your own mind’s view on the matter. File that away as interesting but more about what you think about yourself in the presence of other people than what they think about you.

That is interesting but the subject of another article. The next step is to ask them what they are thinking about you at that moment. Listen with an open mind and not the filter of your filed opinion. You will be interested in what you hear and it will often be very different to your projection.

You will often cause yourself trouble if you believe what your mind tells you other people think about you. Suspend this view and ask them and you will improve the relationships you have with other people and enjoy life more yourself.

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