The Solitude of a Secret Relationship
Are there any valid reasons to keep a relationship hidden from others? Eventually it will become too much of a burden to constantly lie and work at keeping it secret. Why would you get involved with someone you are unsure would win you the approval of friends and family? Is it really worth facing scorn from everyone when they eventually find out?
If you suspect your decision to get involved with this person will be meet with disfavor perhaps you should not start up anything in the first place. In some cases your loved ones really have your best interest at heart and are trying to protect you. On the other hand it could also be a matter of control. However in most cases they truly do care about your well being and are looking out for you.
Perhaps the relationship was out in the open in the beginning and then they did something to hurt you. If this behavior has been witnessed by family and friends you cannot blame them for not wanting anything to do with them. Certainly you can understand their concerns. If you are keeping things secret then deep down inside you suspect they may be right. You just don’t want to hear any negative words from them. By continuing the deception you know they may be right.
If you believed more in your mate than your family you would continue to be open with your relationship in order to give them a chance to prove everyone wrong. You know your family and friends better than anyone else and can discern if their reasons for not accepting your relationship are petty concerns. If you still choose to hide it then you are no better than they are as you are sending signals to your partner that you agree with their opinion. Why should you let them bother you? It is your life after all.
Perhaps their reasons are based on more serious issues such as differences in religion or background. Unless it bothers you as well you should still have the courage to be up front with your preference. Work towards being true to yourself. You might find yourself being able to handle their open criticism. When they see what a strong person you are they made be swayed by your courage to defy them. There is even a strong possibility you have hidden allies among your family. Just because a handful express displeasure does not mean everyone feels the same way.
Sometimes it is just easier for friends to go with the flow. Try not to hold it against them if you sense they are hesitant to show they are on your side. Just as you keep your relationship secret for fear of disapproval so they fear for stating their opposite opinion.