Getting Over a Breakup When You Still Live With Your Ex – This is Not an Easy Thing to Do
For many people that are in a troubled relationship, breaking up is not as easy as it sounds. If you have not been together for a very long period of time, when getting away from each other is necessary, it could be just a matter of moving to a different place. But what about getting over a breakup when you still live with your ex? What to do when every element of your life is attached to him of her?
For example you may have been together for ten years, you have acquired a house and you have kids. If your relationship is over and you both know it, you just cannot get away from each other just like if you had nothing together. And this is probably the hardest part in the whole thing. You wish you could get away from each other but because of the material and family matters that are keeping you together, you cannot.
In a case like that, there are just about a few options left.
Accept the Breakup and Work your Way Towards the Future
When both partners acknowledge that the relationship is over and there is no going back, it may be easier to get your life reorganised side by side until you are both ready to make the move. After all, if you have children you will have to show maturity over this and remain in good therms to share the responsibility.
Reorganising your finances should be a priority, if this is the reason why you cannot breakup if you want to do so. Of course a couple gets to the point when all the money that comes into their household is used for the house and raising the children.
But if you no longer have a vision of a future together, you must rethink all the financial aspect of your future life before it becomes a reality. Do not rely on your ex to provide for you, even if this way the way it used to be.
Or course there is going to be times when the kids are going to need money and this should be share, but the ultimate goal is to break up from financial dependency. The last thing you want is to remain financially dependent from your ex after a separation, and if you think about this, this may be why your relationship is no longer working in the first place.
Try to Work Things Out
But if you think that there is a little bit of hope, it would be a good idea to try to get away from each other for a while, before you put the house for sale or something like that. In many cases, that old saying that said that “you don’t know what you got until you loose it”, is very true.
If you lack the financial resources to allow one of you to move out for a while, try to do your own thing and to keep contact to the minimum. Sharing the same bed is also a bad idea when the relationship is over. If you don’t have a second bedroom, then even the couch is better for the time being.
Allowing your couple to have a “break” may make it possible for both of you to see what is wrong in your relationship. It also will allow you some time alone to rethink and to rebuild your energy. Do not be afraid to take a break if you can, it can only be beneficial.
You may also have to use some persuasive talk with your ex to achieve this. If your partner does not accept the breakup and is very emotional, tell him or her that you still have feelings for him but that you both need space for a while. The key is not to break up from your ex at all costs, it is to break away from this emotional dependency that is choking your relationship.