Building A Lasting Relationship
In terms of relationships, the ability of a couple to deal with relationship issues in their most difficult moments is what ultimately distinguishes between a lasting relationship and a troubled relationship. How easy it is to take pleasure in the good times. But in the tough times, when quarrels and conflict are abundant, relationship issues can prove to be far more difficult.
Responsibility, respect, and attitude represent the foundation of a lasting relationship. And especially with the proper attitude, a troubled relationship can be renewed. Much like it was in the beginning, attitude and respect, combined with a sense of emotional maturity, can return a couple to a time when life was far less difficult.
While a lasting relationship thrives on respect, conversely a troubled relationship feeds on anger. And so we must begin with some basic questions.
“Am I so consumed with winning that I am willing to destroy our relationship?”
“Am I prepared to prevail in this conflict regardless of the cost?”
“Can I move past the conflict and look to the future?”
Relationship issues must not devastate the love you share. Follow these fundamental rules, and you can revitalize your relationship.
No meaningless arguments. Express yourself passionately only on relationship issues that are significantly important. This means accepting that compromise and understanding form the basis for a lasting relationship.
The dreaded blame game. Above all, resist placing blame on your partner for your own frustrations. When the pressure is on – communicate. Whereas blame feeds hostility and conflict, communication provides us with a building block for compassion and understanding.
The power of listening. Resolution of relationship issues must be based on respect for one another. Respect begins with a willingness to listen to one another, and to appreciate each other’s point of view.
Focus on the present. Work only on current relationship issues. It is intensely difficult to cling to lingering resentment and at the same time hope to solve present problems. By concentrating on the present we avoid placing blame for what happened before.
Let go. Accept that some conflicts cannot be fully resolved. Therefore, the only solution is for both partners to respect their differences and to move on. Even if your love objects to compromise, rise above the fray. It is never wise to allow one problem to result in a relationship breakup.
Embrace forgiveness. Love is nothing without forgiveness. Simply put, if we cannot forgive we cannot free ourselves of the need to get even. This is the very foundation of resentment. Lingering resentment is likely the most devastating force of any relationship.
Your relationship must come first. Especially in rough times, it is imperative that your relationship must rise above all else. This means resisting the urge to win at all cost. Begin by refusing to view each other as competitors. Instead, work as a team to respect each other’s opinions. In this environment, with time and dedication, most any relationship issue can be resolved.