Advice For Relationships – Before and After the Breakup
Before I was married, I was dumped by the girl I was dating. Yes, I admit it. It even happened a few times. But each time, I picked myself up off the floor, dusted myself off, and gave myself a stern talking-to. I thought about the 4 points I share with you below. Then I jumped right back in the game, none the worse for wear.
And you know what? I went on to have success (and some failures) with women. After each experience, good or bad, I became just a bit wiser, even though it sometimes hurt – a lot. I may even have learned more from being dumped, than from doing the dumping. In any case, I have some advice for relationships that I think could be helpful to you.
1. It Takes Both of You
Here is a radical thought: Just as it takes two to tango, so it takes two to make or break a relationship. It may be hard to accept this, or even think about it, in the immediate ache and heartbreak of a separation. But you were there. You must accept some of the responsibility for the failure of the relationship. Not necessarily half, but some, depending on your own particular circumstances.
Perhaps your partnership was just a series of low points, punctuated by the occasional disaster. Learn from it, take responsibility where necessary, and move on. Note that this is not the same as assigning blame. The blame game is usually not a good or useful road to go down. Stay away from it, for the most part.
2. Personal Space
Men and women each need to keep some personal space and privacy in a relationship. No matter how much in love you are, you need to preserve your own private space, and your mate should respect this. In practical terms, this means trusting her, and not being too possessive. Do not keep checking on her comings and goings.
This may be hard, especially if she or another woman cheated on you. But you must put that hurt aside and trust her completely, unless you have a real reason not to. The very success of the relationship depends on it.
3. Time Heals…
Advice for relationships news flash! Time really does heal all wounds, as the saying goes. However, if you are the one who was wounded, and it is still fresh, then of course this is not very helpful. You think (no, you are sure) you will never get over it. But you will, and you will be a better, stronger person for it.
Where does that strength come from? Look inside yourself. Deep down. Deeper! Reach right down, and you will find the strength of character to get yourself through today, and tomorrow as well, and every day after that. You woke up alive this morning, didn’t you? Great! That means you have another day on this earth, and another chance. Make the most of it.
4. Making It Happen
Your current failure with the opposite sex (or in any other field, for that matter) is only a temporary situation. Giving up is what makes it permanent. You cannot change the past, or undo the breakup. Nevertheless, you can control how you react to the situation, and what you do in the future.
Do not brood or obsess over the past relationship. Get out there with your friends and have fun, even if it kills you! Keep the advice for relationships I have given you here, constantly in your mind. Soon you will run across an attractive Mr. or Mrs. Right, and you will be ready to connect with them. Then things will click for you.
Finally, I will leave you with this quote from Winston Churchill: A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Which one do you want to be? Decide if you want to try and get your ex back, or move on. No situation is completely hopeless. You can do it. All you have to do is get started!